I am a stay at home mom with 3 children, and I feel like I do so much for my kids (as all mothers do) but right now I feel like my kids don't appreciate me at all! My 12-year-old son has been so rude to me and will say the meanest things to me like, "I don't want you for my mom anymore."; "You drive me crazy."; "Don't talk to me." This needs to stop right now, can you please help me with some Godly advise. Thank You.
If it makes you feel any better, you are in good company. The choice to stay home to raise your children comes with numerous benefits...and its own difficulties and frustrations as well. Many at-home moms feel overworked and underappreciated. At least those who work outside the home get a couple of breaks each day and a paycheck every other week. Moms at home rarely get a break unless they lock themselves in the bathroom and ignore the constant banging on the door from inquisitive toddlers! Statistics support the fact that stay at home parents work the equivalent of two full time jobs. That comes as no surprise to you but it may to the rest of your family.
As your children get older they will desire and need more independence as your 12-year-old is exhibiting. However, increased independence and freedom comes with increased responsibilities. Respect is one of the fundamental responsibilities of all children, no matter what their age. You are correct that his behavior needs stopped immediately or it will only get worse. Granted, he is entering the adolescent years and many would advise you to relax, and allow him to express himself and gain his independence. I will disagree. Although he is gaining independence in his thoughts, desires, behaviors and emotions, he must learn that respect begins at home and that disrespect will not be tolerated but instead will be met with discipline...each and every time.
Depending on the personality of your son you may choose to approach this a variety of ways. If he needs firm boundaries you may choose to be very direct with him stating that disrespect will not be tolerated. And then doling out appropriate discipline. Perhaps you need to call his bluff. When he states "you drive me crazy", you can call his bluff by saying something like "You're right! That's my job." Or you can always follow the advise of scripture, "A gentle answer turns away wrath." Follow up, "I don't want you for my mom anymore", with "But I always want you for my son."
You know your son best and how best to handle his outbursts. Whatever way you choose, be consistent and be clear that although he may not like you or what you do right now, you are still his mother and he will treat you with respect. Don't be afraid to be disliked. It's more important for you to be his mother than his friend, especially as he enters adolescence.
I hope this gives you some ideas. Be encouraged. Stay firm in your parenting and don't give up. It will pay off in the long run.